


Jeez why the Couch.

by Squishcat



Series: msparp stuffies. [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ass Play, Exhibitionism, M/M, MSPARP, Masturbation, Memes, Sex, Shrek is Love Shrek is Life, not sure how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 22:19:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7286854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishcat/pseuds/Squishcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What even are titles?<br/>This is a mostly raw NSFW msparp chat from 2014. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jeez why the Couch.

**Author's Note:**

> Very funny, as I recall, and messy. I think you'll enjoy this.

# Saturday 21 June 2014

This is a script style, not safe for work chat.

timaeusTestified [TT] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

On couch!Toying with his asshole!turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

TT: I'm home.

TG: *lets out a small moan not actually hearing him*

TT: Dave?

TG: *another not so quiet moan*

TT: * he walks over to the couch, eyeing you from over the top of it* Dave what the hell are you doing on my couch like that?

TG: *his eyes shot open and shut his legs, knees touching. looking past him to the wall*

TG: *his face blushes red* uhm

TT: Am I interrupting something?

TG: I didn't think you'd be back yet... *he manages panting*

TT: But why'd it have to be on the couch? You could be in your room and I wouldn't even bat an eye.

TG: it gets boring in there though

TT: What exactly is exciting about the living room?

TG: *shrugs, pulling his shirt down over his dick*

TT: I can leave if you wanna finish...that.

TG: nah it's fine I'll just go finish elsewhere.

TT: I'd ask you to help with the groceries but now I think would be a bad time. There's not that many anyway.

TG: I'll help, just need to put my pants back on

TT: And wash your hands.

TG: yeah yeah whatever *he sits up and grabs his jeans from the floor, slipping a foot in then the other, then standing to pull them the rest of the way up*

TT: *he turns and goes back out to grab some bags*

TG: *he zips his pants up and walks over to the bathroom to wash his hands and run a hand through his hair before going out to help with the bags*

TT: Thanks.

TG: yeah no problem

TT: *manages to get all of them inside in one trip, with your help*

TG: was that all there was? *he asks before turning to go back outside*

TT: Yep.

TG: alright then. *he walks back into the living room after putting away a few things and bends over to find his boxers*

TT: *he puts the rest of the stuff away and returns to the room* What are you doing?

TG: looking for couch pennies, *he gets on his knees and runs a hand underneath the couch* what does it look like I'm doing*

TT: Searching for something you lost in your frenzy of sexual exploration and familial interruption.

TG: yes why?

TT: Just wondering. If you need me, I'll be in my room.

TG: alright, *he looks underneath the low coffee table and snatches his boxers before walking up the stairs to his own room*

TT: *he goes to his room, shutting the door and getting to whatever he's doing*

TG: *he shuts the door behind him, throws himself onto his bed and reaches over to the nightstand for his phone*

TT: *is doing some stuff in his room idk*

TG: *he takes off his shades and takes a picture of himself with an awkward expression, sending it to john with the caption "just got caught getting jiggy with my hands on the couch..."*

TT: ((oh my god))

TG: ((*snickers*)

TT: ((tbh i dont even know what esle to say at this ppoint)

TG: *not expecting to receive anything for hours he sets his phone aside and runs his hands over the bulge in his jeans* (( so what now?))

TT: ((idk man))

TG: (( ._. ))

TT: *has some awkward thoughts alone in his room. oh boy*

TG: ((virtually notes his enthusiasm))

TT: ((whose))

TG: *running his hand over his jeans was probably not the best idea, the friction being rather uncomfortable letting out a groan* ((from his thoughts))

TT: I heard that. *he calls out, teasingly*

TG: you'll be hearing a lot more than that *he says with a breathless chuckle*

TT: oh boy.

TG: *he pops the button from his jeans and pulls the zipper halfway down to keep his dick from springing to life*

TT: *springing to life*

TT: *like a baby bird*

TG: *roaring to life*

TT: *you're gonna hear me roAR OH OH OH OH*

TG: ((hah)) *he runs his thumb of the tip of his dick and puts his other hand over his mouth to stifle a moan and then moves it back to pull down his jeans to his knees, his dick waking from the dead but more like a vampire because they aren't really dead and neither was his raging mad boner*

TG: *was**

TT: *BBUT

TT: *vampires dont have blood so ur dick is like

TT: *pale and without erection*

TT: *So*

TT: *??*

TG: *yeah well this vampire just had a huge blood feast*

TT: ((damn son))

TT: *Wait

TT: *your dick had a blood feast?????*

TG: *the vampire did, more like sam winchester than a vampire, sam gets blood all over himself*

TT: *wOW

TG: *he moves his hand back up to his dick and firmly grasping it*

TT: *FIRMLY GRASP IT

TG: **nods in agreement**

TT: Do I need to come in there?

TG: *he brought his other hand up to his mouth and licked his palm making it wet and sticky* wouldn't advise it but sure *he swapped hands again FIRMLY GRASPing it and starting out with slow pumps biting his lip softly*

TG: *advise**

TT: Don't make me come in there young man.

TT: Although.

TT: It sounds like you'll be the one coming in there amirite?

TG: maybe you should come in, teach me not to get at it on your couch. *He let out a shaky breath as his entire shaft was covered in his saliva*

TG: *as his**

TT: Here I come, not so literally.

TT: You're in for it bro.

TG: come at me bro *he said jokingly*

TT: Oh man.

TT: *he comes in

TT: *in a fashion resembling

TT: *a wrecking ball

TG: *at least dave can't say he walked away*

TG: *he moves his knees up, back still on the bed, not being able to move them apartmuch because of the jeans at his knees*

TT: Wowee.

TG: *he shuts his eyes and laughs slightly*

TT: *cracks his knuckles* Well I'm hear, I'm queer, and

TT: i don't remember how the rest of it goes

TT: *here

TG: *he coated the fingers of his hand not concentrated on his dick with saliva and slid it past his dick in between his legs chuckling at his words*

TT: Wouldn't lube or something be better?

TG: would be but I don't have any

TT: Ah, yeah.

TG: yeah *he slipped a finger in between his ass cheeks and made sure that his entrance was wet by practically teasing himself in circles* you just gonna stand there or what?

TT: Yeah I guess.

TT: Shoulda made some popcorn or something.

TG: shoulda brought a chair * he said as he pushed the tip of a finger in and arching his back with pleasure then pushing the tip of another finger, the small burn inside of his ass increasing as he had only done this so long ago*

TG: ***sting**

TT: *sits in your desk chair* Hm. Interesting.

TG: *while his other hands worked on his dick he pushed both fingers in deeper only to let out a loud moan*

TT: Hoo boy.

TG: (hold on)

TT: ((ok))

TG: fucker

TT: That's me.

TG: *growls at him as he picks up the pace on his dick*

TT: So I am gonna hear you roar, wow. The power of Katy Perry is strong in this one.

TG: *he bites his lip and tosses his head to the side hitting the pillow as he shimmies his fingers in deeper*

TT: *scoots the chair closer to the bed*

TT: Interesting.

TT: Having any trouble in there?

TG: * his cock is practically dripping pre cum onto his stomache as he scissors his fingers inside of himself and presses his fingers against his walls to slip in another finger*

TT: No answer. *he writes that down. where did he get the pen and paper?*

TG: *he lets go of his cock and moves his hand underneath his leg to spread his ass giving him a view* does it look like I'm having trouble?

TT: Yes.

TT: Because in this situation.

TT: Your fingers are timmy and your asshole is the well.

TG: then why don't you come over and help me huh?

TT: You sounded like you didn't want me to but I'b be glad to.

TG: then get over here. *he let go of his ass cheek and slipped two fingers out and just fingered himself with one*

TT: *rolls onto the bed like a ninja*'

TG: don't you think your tongue would make a better substitute from my fingers?

TT: Of course I do.

TT: But have you earned it?

TG: *he opened his eyes, red staring and him with a smirk * how does one earn the attention of senpai?? begging?

TT: Senpai? Whoa we're on a whole new level now. *that one song from Aladdin plays in the background*

TG: *when you're not fully into something but somehow still get the referance somewhat* *finger still in his ass he turned over, head against the pillow and ass in the air* c'mon bro

TT: *a whole new world*

TT: *mario voice*

TT: Here I go.

TG: *ahhh*

TG: Pleaseee

TT: *he removes his weird ass gloves and GRABS THE BOOTY*

TG: hey wait watch it that's my butt you're grabbing

TT: You asked for it.

TG: I asked you to shove your tongue up my ass not grope me like one of your smuppets.

TT: How am i supposed to get my face up in there with out properly positioning myself, and with you whining your ass off?

TT: Whiny ass baby.

TG: ughhhh, *he groaned as he dropped his chest onto the mattress, ass still in the air, finger no longer in his ass, arms at his sides*

TT: *<http://photos.imageevent.com/afap/wallpapers/videogaming/pokmon//qgfofJP.gif>*

TG: *oh googly gog*

TG: *lets out a quiet whimper*

TT: <http://www.fybertech.com/4get/13831853982833.gif>

TT: ((i cant stop laughing))

TG: ((it's funny *=* ))

TT: ((it's too late for me to take this seriously anymore))

TG: ((haha s'right))

TT: ((ok , ,,))

TT: Call me senpai some more.

TG: senpai *says it in hot breaths*

TT: You're lucky I even noticed you.

TT: Although it's a little hard not to with your ass on my face*

TT: Face

TG: haha very funny bro

TT: I'm a real comedian.

TG: sure you are

TT: This ain't exactly a flattering pose for you, Dave, so...

TT: I'd watch my tongue if I were you.

TG: I'd be watching my ass if I were you,

TT: I am watching your ass.

TG: exactly

TT: So no worries.

TG: less lips more licks *pushes ass against his face*

TT: *muffled insults*

TG: *smiles into the pillow as he slides a hand to his cock, giving it some much wanted attention*

TT: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me.

TG: ((*spontaneously bursts into fits of laughter*))

TT: ((ahaha))

TG: yeah you help yourself to the feasting ritual called eat my ass

TT: Hey I could be eating healthy.

TG: doritos aren't exactly healthy by means of the food criteria

TT: Better than this mess.

TG: yet you sit here on my bed, eating my ass.

TT: You asked.

TG: you said you'd be glad to help

TT: I am, don't worry.

TG: I won't

TT: Wouldn't you rather have something else in your ass?

TG: of course I would, but a tease never hurt me

TT: I'm doing my best but it doesn't seem like either of us is enjoying it that much.

TG: well you can start by helping me with my pants, I didn't feel up to it to take them down all the way

TT: Okey dokey. *pulls his face out of the butt*

TG: *chukles*

TT: Don't chuckle I'm volunteering to fulfill your sexual needs.

TG: it doesn't count as volunteer work if you get something in return in the end

TT: What are you saying?

TG: nothing

TT: What am I getting out of this?

TG: not sure yet

TT: Well ok.

TG: *pulls a knee loose from the death grip of jeans*

TT: *helps you with that. geez, it's like we need lube for your butt and your pants*

TG: *starts on the other knee, to bad dave didn't have any lube*

TT: *but you see, dirk is smart and nabbed some before he got there. he is a prepared fucker*

TG: *so he knew they were gonna get jiggy eventually*

TT: *he did offer to come in while you were "getting jiggy with your hands" so

TG: *point taken*

TT: *should we be lubricating your legs*

 

TG: *if the leg fit it should be able to come out

TT: *that's what they all say*

TG: *tugs at the bottom of the jean*

TT: *yanks the rest off in a swift, painless motions*

TG: *blood circulation flows again*

TT: *maybe thats why your dick wasnt working

TG: *maybe

TT: Alright cool.

TG: do you uh, have the stuff.

TT: Which stuff?

TG: you know those usually essential frickle fracking stuffs

TT: Well I have lube but do you also mean condoms?

TG: no I meant balloons

TT: Well I have those too.

TG: yes condoms are what I'm asking for

TT: Yeah I'm ALL SET.

TT: Stocked and ready to go.

TG: well then why don't we get you naked?

TT: Ugh, fine. Whatever. But you have to do it.

TG: alright then, j*he shifts on the bed to a more sitting position and go for the bottom of his shirt and pulls it up*

TT: *he just nods*

TG: *pulls it over his head then trails his hands down his chest to do his jeans next*

TT: *shivers*

TG: *gives him a questioning look*

TT: Don't look at me like that.

TG: what am I doing??

TT: What are you doing?

TG: *gives him a poker face as he pulls the zipper down*

TT: *p p p poker face*

TG: *attempts to pull down his pants and whatever he has underneath together

TT: *tries to be compliant*

TG: *pulls barely past his thighs*

TT: *woohoo*

TG: *gapes at him*

TT: Take it all in, bro.

TG: *stops trying with your pants and decides that it is finally time to take his own shirt off*

TT: *alrighty*

TG: *tosses it to the floor*

TT: *there it goes*

TG: *looks back up at him*

TT: Ay.

TG: so uh,

TG: you wanna

TT: Are you ready to rumble?

TG: hell yes

TT: Then let's begin.

TG: *shifts around*

TT: *kicks the rest of his pants off*

TG: *damn dem legs doe*

TT: *strikes a saucy pose*

TT: honhonhon

TG: *laughs*

 

[ snipped ]

TT: ((ok id really love to keep going except its almost 5 am))

 

TT: ((you're funny btw i like you))

TT: ((thank you for putting up with my bullshit for hours omg))

 

On couch!Toying with his asshole!turntechGodhead [TG] disconnected.08:55:31

timaeusTestified [TT] disconnected.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like more msparp chats added just comment, also request anything! (: - speep
> 
> p.s I have started a new tumblr for my personal things like drafts, art, and any drabbles or requests I get so please check me out there, thank you.
> 
> Comment if you would like too see a "cleaner" version where this is written like a paragraph instead of script.


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